Reasoning With Vampires is a tumblr worth checking out, if only for its constant mocking of Twilight. One post had a diagram of a sentence with the caption, “SENTENCES ARE NOT MINIVANS FREIGHT TRAINS”.

Oh dear.

If only she could see the sentences I am translating.

I admit myself on the about section of this blog that I am prone to run-on sentences and sometimes I can be worse than Stephenie Meyer. (Wow, look at me admitting that on the internet.) However, the sentences I had to translate all night are not freight trains, much less minivans. They are drowning dreadnoughts. At least you get what Meyer was trying to say, even it it annoys you. At one point, I couldn’t understand some of these sentences and trust me it is not the sleep deprivation.

Back to work.