Not so much of a New Year’s Resolution, this list. Never really believed in using arbitrary markers in the solar cycle as turning points anyway. What I’m going to note down are things I need to do. Or stop doing. Otherwise, my life would be well and truly screwed, and so these are not “resolutions”. These are survival tactics that is not meant only for 2014, but for the rest of my life.

  • Get my sleeping pattern back in order. It’s no secret that my circadian rhythm oscillates between sleeping late and waking up even later. While this does not pose a mortal peril to my life, it is perhaps the bane of any productivity I aim to achieve. So stop sleeping late and waking up late–save for actual work or study-related situations.
  • Decide what I want out of life, or to be more precise, what approach I want to take to get what I want. If I want to be dramatic, I would say that I am on the precipice of change. No turning back, and all that shit. Tick tock, my clock is ticking and I need to really do it right this time and make up my mind because I doubt I would get a third chance.
  • Put myself first. This whole mess I am currently trying to dig myself out started by simply agreeing to things that I didn’t really want to do, e.g. “oh sure I’ll enroll to that major if it makes it easier for my family to pay tuition”. And while I cannot immediately turn myself into an extremely assertive, me-first egotistical prick, I certainly should start minding what other people think less, if only to retain my sanity. One can only be pulled so far in all directions before popping like a baloon. Or volcano.
  • Let go. Of inhibitions. Of past mistakes that still haunt me. Learn how to walk away and leave things behind because life is supposed to go on.
  • Write more, because that is my sanity check. Writing allows me to reason out and de-tangle all the messed up events and feelings I go through. I usually give up because I feel like I can’t write a coherent account of my mind, but then I end up only with thoughts that percolate and eventually, if not forgotten, turned into corrosive acid.
  • Stop being a fangirl because… HA JUST KIDDING I WILL NEVER STOP BEING A FANGIRL.